The death of a baby or fetus is a very difficult and significant life event that deserves strong support. Depending on the circumstances, families may be confronted with sensitive and challenging decisions surrounding the best type of care for their unborn or newborn baby. Compassionate care providers and community organizations can help support families through these challenging times.
Pregnancy loss
A pregnancy may end early for several reasons, whether by abortion/miscarriage (planned or unexpected, for medical or non-medical reasons) or stillbirth. No matter the circumstances, the loss of a pregnancy may result in a range of difficult emotions. Sadly, pregnancy loss is not uncommon. It is important to remember that pregnancy loss is not because of anything the pregnant person did.
Each individual experience is significant and worthy of support. Health-care providers for the person experiencing the pregnancy loss may have access to specialized support programs for people who have experienced a pregnancy loss. There are also community organizations that can help support families during this time (see Useful resources below).
Infant loss
Early infancy is one of the most vulnerable times in life. There are different circumstances where families might face the early death of their baby, whether due to unexpected reasons or due to a progressive illness (such as in a hospital or Neonatal Intensive Care Unit). Health-care providers who care for newborns experiencing an incurable illness will help to ensure that babies are as comfortable as possible at the time and leading up to their death. Families also require compassionate support during this difficult time.
Perinatal palliative care
Perinatal palliative care is an approach to care that should be offered to families experiencing a life-threatening medical problem in their fetus or newborn baby. The goal of palliative care is to reduce the physical, psychological, social and spiritual suffering associated with serious illness. There may be uncertainty about the baby’s ability to survive, or an expectation that the baby may not be able to live through the whole pregnancy or early life. These supports may come through health-care providers who care for pregnant patients and babies, as well as palliative care providers. Some hospitals have dedicated perinatal palliative care services.
Perinatal palliative care can help ensure that families are able to make decisions and choices that feel right for themselves and their baby depending on their individual circumstances. Perinatal palliative care providers can support families with memory and legacy creation during pregnancy, labour, delivery, and beyond. They can also help family members of all ages with grief support as they navigate the potential uncertainty about their baby’s future or the likelihood of a shortened lifespan. For families who experience an early end to their pregnancy or the death of their newborn baby, the availability of bereavement support is of utmost importance. Sibling support resources can also be helpful for living children in the family to be able to process their emotions and experiences.
For some parents, this experience may feel very traumatic in nature. This is not surprising and does need additional work. Please seek out both support and/or counselling/therapy from appropriately trained providers in traumatic grief as you process what is happening. You may find your primary practitioner helpful in assisting you in searching for these specialists.
If you are facing a potential or actual pregnancy or infant loss, you can reach out to your maternity or paediatric care providers for more support. There are also many community organizations that offer support in different ways (see Useful resources below).