As your teen develops and becomes more independent, they may be spending more time outside the home with friends and be more willing to try new things, including drugs or alcohol. You can help your teen stay safe and healthy by monitoring their substance use. If they have, or you suspect they have, a substance use disorder, you can take clear steps at home to support their recovery.
How to monitor your teen's substance use
- Ask questions about your child's or teen's school, friends and other parts of their lives (such as any sports and hobbies) to learn about their interests and well-being outside the home.
- Practise authoritative parenting by setting age-appropriate expectations and limits around your teen's routine such as curfews, screen time, chores and so on.
- Have conversations with your teen about alcohol and drug use, including over-the-counter and prescription medications and high-caffeine energy drinks.
- Keep open communication with your teen. Listen to them and be open to negotiation.
- Discuss your expectations about your teen's use of alcohol or drugs. Effective messaging about risky behaviour can include statements such as:
- "If you decide to try alcohol or other drugs, I (we) hope that you will use as little as possible."
- "If you do decide to use, you can always call me (us) if you are in a situation where you don't feel safe."
- Be a role model. Demonstrate to your teen that you can use alcohol (and other drugs) responsibly.
- Spend time with your teen. There is no standard guideline — how much time you spend, and what you do, will be different for every family, depending on work, school and other activities.
What to do if your teen has (or you suspect they may have) a substance use disorder
First, seek help and support for both you and your teen from a health-care provider, clinic or agency that specializes in treating substance abuse in young people.
Enforce ground rules
Monitoring your teen may involve invading their privacy. This might be difficult, but it is important to remind yourself, and your teen, that their health and safety are your top priority. You may also need to follow a “when/then” script with your teen to explain any stricter rules and inspections. For instance, you might say something like “When I see you making better choices for your health, I’ll respect your privacy again.” Or something like, “I look forward to respecting your privacy in the future, but right now I need you to make sure that you are following house rules.”
If your child’s or teen’s behaviour has placed them in unsafe situations, do not be afraid to ground them and have them demonstrate responsible behaviour to earn increases in freedom again. Although your child or teen may not acknowledge it, and may even argue forcefully against it, they may be secretly grateful that you are putting limits on their behaviour.
Express concerns about behaviour, not people
Allow your child and teen to choose their own friends. If you disapprove of your teen’s or their friends’ behaviour, express your concerns about the behaviour rather than the people themselves. Be sure to state clearly what behaviour you expect to see instead.
Be clear about regular attendance at school or treatment
When a teen is using substances, make it clear that you expect them to attend school every day and on time, unless a physical or mental health condition prevents it. Reinforce your expectations by offering rewards for consistent school attendance.
If your teen’s substance use is preventing your teen from attending school regularly, make it clear that you expect them to attend treatment regularly.
Drug Free Kids Canada (2024). Helpful resources on Youth and Substance Use. Retrieved from https://parentactionondrugs.org/for-parents/
Government of Canada (2024). Talking with teenagers about drugs and alcohol. Retrieved from https://www.canada.ca/en/health-canada/services/substance-abuse/talking-about-drugs/talking-with-teenagers-about-drugs.html
Canadian Pediatric Society (2017). How to talk to your teen. Retrieved from https://www.caringforkids.cps.ca/handouts/talk_with_your_teen
Parent Action Pack (n.d.). Retrieved from http://parentactionpack.ca/
Fleming, K., & McKiernan, A. (2018). Talking Pot with Youth: A Cannabis Communication Guide for Youth Allies. Ottawa, ON: Canadian Centre on Substance Use and Addiction. Retrieved from http://www.ccdus.ca/Resource%20Library/CCSA-Cannabis-Communication-Guide-2018-en.pdfhttps://campusmentalhealth.ca/resource/talking-pot-with-youth-a-cannabis-communication-guide-for-youth-allies-2/